its been 2 years.
she was lying in intensive care (i didnt know she only had a few days left)...... building up to the bloody convention in cardiff millenium stadium.
yap yap yap we can take you yap yap, you need to be there yap yap, oh my head was all over the place.
My thoughts are with you & I'm glad hubby came home and was with you-
Your story is upsetting & I understand your anger, I do not doubt though that your mom loved you very much and she knew you also loved her deeply.
Hang in there
CHG (another angry girl)
well since there is no "betting" (as it reeks of gambling) in jdub land, lets place a friendly wager on what will happen to me when i go to my father's "memorial" service at the kingdome hall this saturday..... to give you newbies background info: i am neither df'd or da'd- i left 2 years ago with no explanation.
i have been hounded by elders in my cong because they have suspicions that i am living with a man, but they have no proof (well, no proof in jdub land- you know...two witness rule).
after many attempts to get me to meet with them- i finally sent the elders a "cease & desist" letter after one of them spied in my miniblinds to see me eating breakfast with someone (they couldn't identify who).
I see I may have to run out a buy a case of just in case....
Love bombing is okay, I can laugh about it later over a few
CHG
of the some 70,000 disfellowshippings each year (some 1% of the membership) most were for sexual misconduct.
of these, i think i'm safe to say that very few were witnessed by a third party.
that means that both participants had to voluntarily confess in order to satisfy their 2-witness rule.. know of any that didn't meet this rule?.
Welcome Dudu....hahahah love typing that name...dudu
CHG
well since there is no "betting" (as it reeks of gambling) in jdub land, lets place a friendly wager on what will happen to me when i go to my father's "memorial" service at the kingdome hall this saturday..... to give you newbies background info: i am neither df'd or da'd- i left 2 years ago with no explanation.
i have been hounded by elders in my cong because they have suspicions that i am living with a man, but they have no proof (well, no proof in jdub land- you know...two witness rule).
after many attempts to get me to meet with them- i finally sent the elders a "cease & desist" letter after one of them spied in my miniblinds to see me eating breakfast with someone (they couldn't identify who).
Well since there is no "betting" (as it reeks of gambling) in jdub land, lets place a friendly wager on what will happen to me when I go to my father's "memorial" service at the Kingdome Hall this Saturday....
to give you newbies background info: I am neither DF'd or DA'd- I left 2 years ago with no explanation. I have been hounded by elders in my cong because they have suspicions that I am living with a man, but they have no proof (well, no proof in jdub land- you know...two witness rule). After many attempts to get me to meet with them- I finally sent the elders a "cease & desist" letter after one of them spied in my miniblinds to see me eating breakfast with someone (they couldn't identify who). I have moved away to avoid their mettling. But alas...
My dad died last monday & despite plans made before he passed...they are having a jdub funeral for him (he was inactive, hadn't been to a meeting in years, and was smoking the day he died- he wasn't a believer)
So the bet is....what will happen to me when I show my face in that Kingdom Hall?????
a) nothing- the flesh melts off the JWs who look at me because I am evil
b) love bombing- they are exuberant thinking they can lull me back with fake niceness after two years of shunning
c) attack by elders to arrange a judicial committee to kick my ass out once and for all- at last they think they can win this one!!
since I am in a bad mood...I will place the first bet- I bet one that (c) is what will transpire Saturday
anyone wanna weigh in???
CHG
well, as i mentioned before in one of my few other posts, i've been lurking here for some time now and finally decided it was time to face the facts and take action.. i was raised a jw (4th generation) and my parents were quite zealous when they got married.
mom was a regular pioneer and dad was a ms. i was the little jw 'rockstar' in my congregation, got baptized at 10, was giving talks and serving as an attendant at the hall and at conventions at such an early age.
auxiliary pioneered whenever i could.
OK to get back on target of this thread....
Welcome! I was encouraged by your story and courage, please stick around and continue posting, thank you
CHG
i read on another topic " i remember when i used to carry microphones years ago in the jw cult- only about 30 % had their wt's pre-studied, the rest just wing it i truly believe" and it reminded me that people will assume you are not familiar with the material if you have not underlined, and that there will always be those who observe the lack of ink and consider you must be unprepared (and so 'weaker' than them).. many times i used to fake prestudy just for that reason.
its easy to do, underline a random sentence or 2 in each paragraph or the sited scripture.
you can wizz through an entire article in 3 minutes....did anyone else do that?.
Yup I did (was not proud of it at the time)- I knew it was an "indicator" of how spiritual you were & I frankly got bored after 5 paragraphs...so I just underlined the rest and wrote a few random scriptures in the margins-
like leavingwt...I have never been able to get through a whole yearbook either.....I would get past a dozen pages or so then move on to a juicy James Patterson, Jeffrey Deaver, or John Grisham novel- that captivated my attention- I just always got mental ADD when it came to reading anything from the WTS
CHG
coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.
here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.
no one is crying, no one is talking.
Hellenback (love the name)- thank you so much, welcome to the forum & look forward to reading more
Nobleheart- thank you for your sympathies- I appreciate everyone's support here!
Reopened Mind- saw your PM & replied...thank you
CHG
coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.
here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.
no one is crying, no one is talking.
Thank you so much for everyone's kind replies- it is sad that many of you have had the same experiences, both on the inside of the borg: never feeling like you can grieve like a "normal" person
and now experiencing death on the outside of the borg: looking in the faces of those hollow individuals who were once your family- seeing no spark of emotion looking back at you- it is like something out of a science fiction "invasion of the body snatchers" movie-
Moshe you did nail it...thank you for helping me to see it for what it is- I can only pity them now....nothing I say or do can help them, I am happy that I have peace in the fact that his pain is over (I don't have faith in things like an afterlife now, but I am okay with not knowing, and I have no fears for him)
I will pass all of your sympathies on to my brother and CSG, thank you all for being here for us now.
CHG
this is my very first post to this forum.
i am begging for some much needed encouragment and support by those who are kind hearted and know exactly the pain shunning causes.
i am a 30 year old former jehovah's witness and a mother of two beautiful girls.
Welcome & thanks for having the courage to post!
I also identify with you being a 30 something who left the organization (not DF'd or DA'd) and my family also does shun me. I tried to mentally prepare myself for that when I decided to get out two years ago now...but I can't help feeling the hurt too
My dad died on Monday & it has been a terrible ordeal standing on one side of the room while all the JWs are huddled on the other side...with people from your old congregation staring at you uncomfortably and either just walking past you like you are wallpaper...or talking with you just because they feel that they have to (forced fake sympathy is bullshit in my book)
Hang in there WW!!! I agree with other posters that the shunning does in fact come in waves....I bet that your mom will lighten up with a little time-
CHG
coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.
here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.
no one is crying, no one is talking.
Thank you all
I am sorry to have stuck an emotional responce from Man In Black and Anony Mous- I tried my best to hide my discust & be supportive to my mother, I tried to look at it from the aspect of..."well it should be good for her to get away for a few days to get her mind off of things"....
but really....they were married for 53 years, wasn't he worth skipping a convention for???? My brother cried so hard when she left Thursday morning, my heart just broke-
Yes, NRF George....the campfire was very symbolic of dad, his love of the outdoors and just sitting & relaxing by the fire drinking a beer (that was him in a nutshell)
OTWO, I read your previous thread...OMG it is so sad, unfortunately I now know how you feel on that one...and it is equally sad that JWs just don't get it....they are lost truly
To answer NewChapter's question....will I attend the JW memorial????? Well I struggle with that one (because it is bullshit and just a dog and pony show), but I will go...my brother's best friend is going for moral support for the both of us (he never was a JW and hates everything JW, but he is going to sit with us & I really appreciate his thoughtfulness).
Coffee Shop Guy has been so good through this...he spent a lot of time with my brother talking with him and I really think it helped, I love and appreciate him for all he is
CHG
